Sunday, August 12, 2012

Calamity! The 6 Observations I got from Habagat’s Unholy Rage


We all try to make sense of the craziness that surrounds us every day.  Be it the mind numbingly dumb soap operas on local TV, the illogical lapses in logic of the people you hate, or the cold, unrelenting onslaught brought about the recent floods, we all scratch our heads, thinking aloud on why such things happen in the first place. And yet the one answer we all seemingly default to is so simple: it is what it is. 

Our society loves to idealize every single facet of life.  While we’re all caught up trying to live our lives the way happy, feel good movies usually depict, we usually have no idea (or very little) on what to do once the shit hits the fan. And that my friends, is when reality is poised and all-too-ready to stick a big, hard, throbbing one up our rears.  

Prepare to be screwed over by life. All 12 inches of it.

So how do these (seemingly) inexplicable things happen? Well for starters, let’s go back to the point I made earlier. We are a society that downright refuses to see reality for what it is. We are a third world country that strives so hard to be modern Western city. We hate anything that has to do with change, even if life’s very clear message to us has always been “adapt or die.” 

And that’s the problem right there. We are so dead-set in our ways that we don’t even stop to pause and think if what we’re doing even makes sense. But who has time for sensibility when you are too busy just trying to survive the ruthlessness of the urban jungle?

Who needs a job when you can get free cash on his show?

So here are some things that would make us tear our hairs out if it weren’t for the all-encompassing answer of “it is what it is”:

Stubborn People Who Won’t Evacuate their House Even When They’ve Been Told Repeatedly to Do So

You are already waist deep in flood. A rescue boat comes by urging you to come with them since the flood is expected to go even higher. Do you:

           a) Do the logical thing and come with them

b  b) Say “Ermergerd reskwer berts!” and take a picture of the boat, and tell them, no thanks, I’m a good swimmer anyway.

    c) Ignore them since your valuables are apparently worth more than your pathetic existence in this clogged world.

       d) Call up the local news channels, because this is your chance to finally be on TV! (Because even Showtime’s “uncompromising” standards for showcasing talents have refused you)

Because everyone knows that no one has an eye for talent quite like these guys.
  
People who Take Advantage of the Calamity to Commit Crimes
This one isn’t even funny at all. People are panicking all around and your first course of action is to score some loot? Shame on you, low-life. If I see you drowning from an ill-fated attempt at crime, my first option would be to find the biggest rock around and lob it at your head to ensure that the justice Mother Nature has dealt upon you will be dispensed. 

Politicians Who Have the Gall to Repackage Relief Goods to Carry their Name and Image
 Because in the Philippines, no one is more eager to shout “Challenge Accepted!” in a scumbag contest than your local buwaya. What’s next, self-promoting posters listing how you’ve “helped” those in need through your overwhelming generosity?

People Who Volunteer For the Sake of Socializing With Other “Golden-Hearted” people
Like I saw on Twitter, it’s a relief operation, not a goddamned soiree. Find a date on a more reasonable time and day. But thanks for helping, that’s nice of you, but please, resist the temptation of documenting it on social Media. Extra shame points if you use Instagram to showcase how much you really care.  

The Government Still Being Woefully Unprepared for These Kinds of Disaster Situations
Granted, it’s an improvement over 2009’s Ondoy. But still, there’s not enough boats and plans in place to make everything a seamless operation. It’s a start I guess, but I’m making no bets with the guys who use insanely corny jingles on their campaign ads.



Local News Foundations Using This As An Opportunity To Showcase Their Brand of Public Service
Look, before I am accused of being a nihilistic bastard, let me get it straight: I applaud your attempts to help, I really do. But it just begs the question of why must you announce your Foundation’s name endlessly? There’s a fine line between being informative and shameless promotion, and these guys blur it every single time.  I’m always never sure on what they do better: genuinely helping people or helping themselves in the TV ratings game.

So what do you do the next time you see one of these happen?  You can just breathe deep, keep calm and say, “it is what it is.” Or you can choose to actually do something productive and help people to the best of your ability.  If you do, then hats off to you. Just don’t use Instagram to tell the world about it.








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