|Art by Raxenne Maniquiz|
OH MY GOD. BEST PARTY EVEEER!!!
How many times have you seen something like this in your newsfeed? The easy answer is a lot, if you're at or near my age. We are living in the rapidly evolving information age, and boy, have our lives changed tremendously over the last 5 years.
I still remember the days when you DIDN'T HAVE to tell the world what you had for breakfast. Now, I can't go online without seeing someone telling the world how hard his last bout with diarrhea was. "The last time I saw that much blood and guts in a toilet was during my best friend's triplet abortion at a piggery. Not only did we get the service at a discount, there was also free lechon!"
Okay, maybe not that drastic, but like the title said, this is the generation of exaggeration, and I am no exception.
It's amazing how fast technology has moved, and it seems like we are still struggling to catch up. It's just so easy to put yourself out there in the digital world, and the deceptive harmlessness of doing so encourages some of the most stupidly pointless behavior seen in mankind.
Here now are some of the all-too-common exaggerations prevalent in social media:
"Last night's (insert crappy pop star or band) concert was amazing! I'll remember this for the rest of my life!"
Of course you will, you took more pictures and videos than the official coverage team. I really don't get why everyone feels the need to extensively document such an experience. You paid a whole lot to be there, why spoil it by taking out your phone and viewing it through its tiny screen? That’s like ordering a three-course meal, and only finishing one dish because the other two look too good to ruin by eating them.
|But if it's this concert you were referring to, please kill yourself now.|
"Look how cute of a couple we are! It's not enough that we love each other, everyone else must know!"
The sad fact of life is that nobody really gives a damn if you're not a hot couple. And even if you are, nobody likes getting spammed. So do us all a favor and keep it private. After all, what you have is "special" right? Funny, because that same word is used to described the mentally handicapped. So when you say that you guys are special to each other, that really explains a lot.
"I'm hurt and lacking in dignity, what do I do? Oh I know, I'll post it on Facebook and see how much sympathy I get."
Look, it's never easy when you're having a bad time. I've had my fair share of disgustingly emo posts, and looking back, I never really understood what the hell I was thinking during those times. Keeping your head up and moving forward is the only real way to overcome these curve balls life throws at us. But just the same, if you're looking for support, why not just call the people who really matter to you? (Assuming of course that you still have friends willing to put up with your crap.)
"Look how great my new gadget is!"
The only thing you're showing is how much you're willing to spend for stuff that will be obsolete in 3-5 years. Oh, and probably the fact that no one likes you in real life, so you turn to cold, soulless gadgets for companionship.
"Check out my totally impressive achievement: I ate five plates of unshaved donkey balls in 2 minutes!"
Unless you've managed something truly worthwhile, please refrain from sharing the most trivial of your accomplishments. No one cares if you've managed to find the last piece of underwear that you've been eyeing for months. Or if you saved a kitten from being turned into siopao by swerving to avoid it on the road.
The only trivial accomplishment that I deem worthy of publishing online is having your picture taken with Georgina Wilson and Solenn Heussaff while you all share a bath tub. Without the annoying bubble bath.
|But I'd definitely settle for being in the middle of this.|
And speaking of celebrities...
"We can share all the aforementioned shit above because we're celebrities. Deal with it!"
These guys are very, very influential. You think anyone would be an online assclown if they weren't trying to emulate their favorite bimbos? The sole reason people think what they do is important enough to share is because celebrities have made them believe so. But that's the difference, it's their job to try to look as normal as possible, which is ironic because normal activities aren't normally shared online.
But sometimes, it gets to a point where enough is enough. No, random celebrity airhead, I don't care if you've bought a new pillow. Oh, and your dog just got a haircut that costs more than three full meals at a decent restaurant? The proletariat activists must really love you!
|If I did this to my dog, I would be a eunuch by now.|
And this is where we draw the line. Exaggerating on the great day you had won’t make it any better, it usually just makes you look like a self-promoting narcissist with delusions of publicly accepted grandeur. This is especially infuriating when you clearly state where you are so people would know you’re at an expensive place. As if fun can be equated to the amount of cash you’ve spent.
But hey, if you are exactly like the people I’ve described, don’t fret. I admit to doing some of those things on occasion. And that makes all the difference. A little more carefulness on our part on what to share will go a long way towards reducing the ungodly amount of useless information on the internet. It just might end the mystery of why people have been constantly unfriending you.
So here ends this post. I’d write more, but I can’t wait to tell world how great it was to be out drinking for 4 (OMG SO HARDCOOOORE) nights straight. Now excuse me while I scour about to find the best photos from those nights to validate my undoubtedly authentic claim.
If you like the art above, check out more of Raxenne's work at http://www.behance.net/raxenne