Sunday, September 23, 2012

8 Stupid Things I Wish Women Would Stop Doing

Disclaimer: The qualities mentioned here were not written with the purpose to change, erode, malign, antagonize, burst or otherwise damage your perception of women in any way, shape, or form. Also, my sincerest apologies for those who will inevitably be offended, please know that it's not my intention, and that I don't really care what you think.

Thanks to Raxenne Maniquiz for the great as usual job on the art.

I'll start with an admission. Men are stupid. Not in the literal sense of the word, (although there are exceptions) but in the situations and choices that they choose to get themselves into. Oftentimes, it's brought about by our insane need to satisfy our basic urges, but mostly it's because it just seemed like a good idea at that time.

And that's how this hit show came to be.

But just like men, members of the female species are capable of making equally stupid decisions. Whether it's reading Twilight, buying enough clothes to dress a small African town or getting a tattoo where the sun doesn't shine, women are driven to these insane decisions by their need to feel special and loved. It comes in different ways and forms, but that's the general consensus, at least according to scientists.

Now I'm no scientist, but I do like to observe certain peculiarities in women because it simultaneously astounds and confounds me.

So without further ado, here now are the 8 stupid things I wish women didn't do.

Following the gospel of Magazines, Books and Movies
I've always believed that genetically, women are smarter then men. Which might explain why they're more willing to turn to sources other than friends and family for help. Generally, that would be a good thing. But I am always shocked at how much they put their blind trust in the "expert" advice of people who put no value in their lives.

Fashion advice? Magazine! Relationship advice? Books! Need to fill the black void of your inactive love life? Insert tear-jerking romance movie! (with Ice Cream for best results) It's like everything they do must be researched and reinforced to ensure it meets not just their expectations, but society's as well.

Sure, oftentimes the advice they're getting comes from true specialists. But for argument's sake, I've always thought that truly smart people know who they are and what works for them. It's easy to dismiss this as a matter of emotion trumping reason. However, I can't speak for people who genuinely admire and follow the advice of dumb celebrities.

Living proof that anyone can be famous if they're hot and rich enough.

Interrogating Their Boyfriend's Friends
Ladies, I understand your desire to know more about your loved one from the other people that are important to his life. But going behind his back to do this is just plain wrong. There's a reason that "Overly Attached Girlfriend" became a popular meme.

Women will probably never understand why men have the need to just disconnect from all forms of connection in order to do stuff that they like. Whether it's because he wants to go out drinking, or staying home to play a great game, these are things that we fully enjoy without someone checking up on us to see what we're up to.

Expecting an Asshole to Change
It just doesn't happen. Especially if you're the type of woman who loves these bad boys. The bad thing about our lives is that we're the protagonists and we expect things to end like in the movies. Grow up. Happy endings only happen in shady massage parlors and fairy tales. If he cheated on a girl to be with you, don't be surprised if he dumps your ass for the next woman who takes a fancy on him.

Leading Men On
On the other end of the spectrum is the dreaded Friendzoner. Sure, sometimes it's not being done intentionally. But if you're of proper age, I expect a certain amount of maturity from you, and that includes recognizing the difference between a friendly guy and someone who wants to be more than that.

Seriously girls, it's not that hard. If a guy is showing an unnatural amount of interest in being with you, chances are he wants to date you. Otherwise, he might just happen to like the same things you do, in which case you've just found your gay best friend. Congrats!

Don't worry, he is totally serious when he says he enjoys shopping with  you.

Unbridled Pretentiousness
I believe it's safe to say that girls love attention. Sometimes, a bit too much. It's one thing to say that you were at a great party last night. It's a completely different thing when you just have to give unasked-for details like where it was, how much it cost, who you rubbed elbows with, etc.

Other examples of this include documentation of shopping in an expensive place, relentless tweeting, and endless gushing about how excited you are for whatever useless matter. Oh and yes, I'm totally bashing hipsters who love to show off how different (and thereby superior) their taste is over everyone else's.

Attaching a Meaning To Everything (and I mean everything)
Can't a man just be genuinely not in the mood? Can he not be just exhausted from a hard day at work, and not in the mood to talk about it with you? Can he not just be romantic without being accused of playing around with another woman's proverbial honey pot?

Men are simple creatures. We can be moody too, yes. But most of time we are open books that clearly state "leave me alone for ten freaking minutes so that I can talk to you later when I'm feeling better!"

Not Being Assertive Enough
Some women are just plain too meek. Which is the reason why according to LinkedIn, men still get higher pay than them for the same job. They are far less likely to demand for a higher pay, which men are just oh so good at.

In relationships, this is what leads to them being put in a position of submission. Always giving way to another person to avoid conflict is dangerous, and frankly demeaning. I know many beautiful, competent, and otherwise amazing women being made into doormats because they couldn't speak up and fight for what they deserve. This has to change, but don't ask me how because that's your responsibility.

Bitching About Other Women
Women can be even more spiteful than men when they hate another member of the same sex. Men get over simple-to-moderate conflicts, women don't. Especially not to women who used to be their friends. Suddenly, they're nitpicking over every single thing that they they didn't like about an ex-friend, when it didn't use to matter. Men are just apathetic or indifferent, mostly choosing to just go, "screw that guy, who cares."

In extreme cases, it's just because they simply don't like someone. It usually has to do with how another girl looks, dresses, or presents herself. Yes, men do this too, but not on the same level. Worse, they are scarily good at pretending this isn't the case. Plastikan is a game where the best players are undoubtedly women, and you'll be hard pressed to find a woman who will disagree with me on this.

I do however hate her for no reason at all.  Isama mo na din si Charice.

So that's it for me, I can list even more, but I don't want to get castrated by an irrationally aggressive feminist.  The quote below is a great catch-all for some (if not all) of the crazy things that women do.

The man's desire is for the woman; but the woman's desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man.
SAMUEL TAYLOR COLERIDGE, Table Talk, July 23, 1827

If you want to check out more of Raxenne's work, you can view her portfolio here.

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