Sunday, August 26, 2012

It’s Time To Quit! (Your Lousy Job)

Thanks once again to Raxenne Maniquiz

                Countless of movies (and cheesy life coaches) love to tell us that the difference between a winner and a loser is their resistance towards giving up. While that is somewhat true across all facets of life, there are some instances wherein not giving up is crazier than rolling around buck-ass naked in a burning pig sty. 

As most people in my generation have discovered, it’s easier to find a clean public toilet in Recto during booze-drinking hours than to land a great first job (or second, but who’s counting?). Simply put, there’s a reason why good jobs are so hard to find: everyone wants them. But the problem is, (according to LinkedIn) only 10% of jobs are advertised. The other 90%? Well let’s just say that’s where the saying of “It’s not just what you know, but who you know that matters” comes in.

So what does it mean if you found a seemingly good job posting? Tread lightly. The reason most companies require experienced employees is because they don’t have the time or resources to train you. Companies who willingly accept fresh grads usually have some very, very unpleasant things lined up for you, so trust me when I say that a low salary is the least of your worries.

If you do find yourself in a job that is less than enjoyable with less than trustworthy management, you might want to have a look at the pointers below to see if any of them apply to your current employment. If a lot of them apply to you, it just might be time to quit your job.

The Top Signs That You’re In A Crappy Job

-          You find yourself wondering why what you’re doing has no relation whatsoever to your job description. In fact, it seems like you are doing the jobs of at least two and a half people.

-          When the boss enters, you could just feel the collective life force draining out of the room. (Think dementors from Harry Potter, but with pot bellies and horrible perfume)

-          You find yourself looking at vacation getaways more and more often (but only the low fare ones, since you still can’t get your raise)

-          If something goes wrong with your computer, it’s your job to fix it. (Don’t break it or you’ll buy a new one!)

-          Your co workers know more about celebrity gossip than their jobs. “Pre, alam mo bang sinamahan daw ni Angel Locsin si Phil magpatuli?” 

But when it comes to crass gossip, this one is still undisputed.
-          Management can’t properly explain the deductions on your salary. But they always know when you’re late and when you’re slacking off.
-          You spend more time at the office than at home (causing your dog to almost forget who you are)

-          You don’t want to talk about work when you’re outside of it. (except when drunk and in a ranting mood)

-          You watch the clock intently all day, just counting down the seconds till you get off work. Every hour that goes by with your sanity intact feels like an incredible achievement.

-          You are dragging your feet to get up in the morning to go to work. (you might even kick a kitten for getting in the way)

-          You entertain yourself with thoughts of torching the office (and making sure the people you hate are still locked inside while the whole place burns to the ground)

-          You don’t find any foreseeable benefits with maintaining your loyalty to the company. Hell, even the cheapest motels reward your loyalty better than your employer.

-          You are constantly being reminded that you are doing a good job, and your reaction is “yeah, whatever” or “Go on, entertain me with your lies.” (said in your head, of course)

-          The favourite discussion among your co workers during lunch is how much it sucks to be employed there. This goes on and on and on, because no one runs out of reasons or scenarios to bitch about.

-          You don’t even make any effort to look professional anymore. In extreme cases, even the minimal effort it takes to be presentable simply just does not cross your mind.

-          Higher and higher amounts of your salary go towards alcohol or any other form of entertainment that will take your mind off work. 

No caption necessary

-          When you re-unite with your college friends, you aggressively engage everyone in a “who’s got a crappier job?” storytelling competition.

-          You constantly feel like destroying company property. Or at least throwing one of them towards somebody with the full intention of bodily harm. Or..

-          ...if you are not the violent type, you are overly sarcastic with everyone. Or uncooperative in any group activity.

-          And last but not the least, you are reading this right now at work. Along with many other open tabs that have no relation whatsoever to your job.

I could go about this the whole day, but the thing to remember is this: have you hit your breaking point? Do the cons heavily outweigh the pros? Are you in danger assaulting a co-worker? If you said yes, yes, and hell yes to one or all of these, then it’s time to quit!

Sadly, you can't go around doing this in real life.

Trust me, it’s not as hard as it seems, and you’ll thank me when you’re sleeping a whole lot better at night. Now go, stop procrastinating and start typing up your resignation letter. I could help you with that, but then I’ll have to charge you, and you should know by now that Google has just about every formal template known to man. Just please don’t be a bonehead and copy everything word for word. If you do, then you probably deserve that lousy job in the first place.

If you want to check out more of Raxenne's work, you can view her portfolio here.

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